RSS

Canine Rights Act 1998

INTRODUCTION

An Act to give Dogs further rights and freedoms in all aspects of their lives. This Act shall be enforceable in all areas of the UK, to include England, Scotland, Northern Ireland and even in Wales.

A Dog’s reliance on the Act does not restrict it from relying on any other right or law having particular effect in the UK.

The Act allows Dogs to rely upon a number of Rights and Freedoms as follows:

Article 1    The Right to a good life

1.1        Dogs shall be allowed to have a good life with a nice family, guardian or keeper.

1.2        Dogs should be allowed to live for as long as they are able.

1.3        Dogs shall be protected from any unlawful violence

1.4        Dog shall be protected from any degrading treatment, like being dressed up or having to wear a hat for a photograph

1.5        Dogs shall not be forced into slavery or forced labour or servitude

Article 2    Right to liberty and security

2.1        Dogs shall have the right to roam subject to legitimate restrictions for their own protection. Such protections may include:

2.1.1        Being kept indoors or a garden when owners are at work or have gone out to the cinema and it is not possible for the dog to go with them

2.1.2        Being kept on a lead in public places where this is necessary

2.1.3        Sleeping in a cage at night if appropriate

2.2    If the dog is required to be restrained in any way, then an explanation should be provided to the dog in words that that dog will understand. For example, ‘Let’s put your lead on as we are going to the pub’.

2.3    Some dogs may require a muzzle, especially if they are a bit nippy.

Article 3    Right to a fair trial and proportionate punishment

3.1        No dog shall be chastised without a proper investigation and procedure being carried out. All dogs are innocent until proved guilty.

3.2    Just because food or another item has gone missing owners should not jump to conclusions, unless a Labrador lives in the house (food) or a Collie (toys and stuff)

3.3    Owners should understand that humans often pass wind and that the Dog may not be responsible.

3.4    Most offences shall be punishable by a firm telling off

3.5    In the most serious cases, a tap on the nose with a loosely rolled newspaper may be permissible.

3.6    Nose rubbing into messes on carpets rarely works.

4    Right to privacy and family life and freedom of expression

4.1    Dogs should have their own basket or blanket where they can sleep and keep their toys

4.2    Dogs shall be able to lick their bits in private or public

4.3        A Dog may express itself in any appropriate for a dog. This shall include:

4.3.1        Barking

4.3.2        Whining

4.3.3        Pawing etc.

Save that, should any of these activities be excessive or obsessive, then the Owner shall be able to request that the dog desist from the activity.

Article 5    Freedom of assembly and association

5.1        All Dogs shall be able to meet their mates if it is reasonable to do so

5.2        The sniffing of bottoms is a normal activity and Dogs should not be told off.

Article 6    Prohibition from Discrimination

6.1        Dogs shall not be discriminated against because of breed, size, sex colour or intelligence (or stupidity).

Article 7    Right to Possessions

7.1    All dogs are entitled to the peaceful enjoyment of their possessions. No Dog shall be deprived of their possessions except in the public interest and subject to the conditions provided for by law and by the general principles of international law. Such possessions shall include:

7.1.1    A bed, basket, chair or sofa they can call their own. Blankets should be washed only when necessary and this means only when really, really smelly

7.1.2    Bowls etc. Every Dog shall have a bowl for food and water. Dogs should not have to share bowls with cats, just in case they get any cat germs.

7.1.3    Toys. Dogs should be allowed a few toys. These toys may be soft or have a squeak in them.

Article 8    Right to Education

8.1        All Dogs should be educated to a basic standard.

8.2        A basic standard shall include; sitting, staying, rolling over etc.

8.3    Dogs may also be trained above the basic standard where appropriate. This is to be encouraged but it may not be advisable to teach old dogs new tricks.

Article 9    Right to Exercise

9.1    All Dogs should be allowed to exercise every day.

9.2    Exercise shall be dependent on the size, breed and ability of the Dog.

9.3    As a minimum, Dogs should be allowed to run about in a garden or if there is no garden, a park etc.

9.4    Bigger Dogs should have nice long walks, preferably in the countryside or a field where they can run and stuff.

9.5    Walks to the pub shall count towards the daily exercise allowance. However, the consumption of snacks (crisps, mini cheddars etc.) shall be limited to; 3 units per day for boy dogs and 2 units for lady Dogs.

These rights are the minimum basic rights that a Dog should expect.

Advertisements
 

One response to “Canine Rights Act 1998

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: